did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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