She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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