No I am not eating basil off your cock
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
