She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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