he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
