I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
