VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
