Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
