just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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