it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
