So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
