Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
