I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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