I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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