You're my little dorito
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
