Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
