Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
