You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
