Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
