I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Bring me that man meat
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
