my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
