I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
how does that bad decision feel?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
