I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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