this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
