i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
