just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
