I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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