I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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