Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
