I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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