These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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