whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
