did you get engaged???
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
tell me about the eggs
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
