You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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