i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
