like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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