Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
