just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
