Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
