white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
