I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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