loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
