hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
