he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
