I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
