I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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