In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
