I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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