where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
