I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
