I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i think im in europe. pls send help
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
