I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
