I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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