'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
